We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
