i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
