I am in a vortex of obligation.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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