its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
