I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My dick has a subreddit
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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