We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
