Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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