Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
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you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
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the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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