Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
