proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
