trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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