Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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