Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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