I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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