I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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