One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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