so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
