I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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