How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
