my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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