i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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