My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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