How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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