i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Alive.
So much puke
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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