all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
