Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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