dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
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i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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