his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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