what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
