i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
