That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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