Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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