So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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