I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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