remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
