So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
