I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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