if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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