Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
