I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
