I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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