she was so not down for the gang bang
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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