I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
