Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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