hotel room ftw
well I can't set my house on fire every night
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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