i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
