you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
