He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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