I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just had sex bonerless
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
