thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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