I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
