I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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