the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
