best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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