R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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