can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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