I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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