Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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